The outside
by Katormy
Summary: Ed being...well...emo...and him being in love with his brother...more serious then it sounds. :P Elricest, Parental Roy, Full summery inside.


Hey Guys, yet another hurt/comfort fanfiction about someone cutting themselves. Shocker, actually this is my Katormy account, I think this is going to be my emo account. Lol, Welp here's the fic: -K!mmy-BEr!-

Edward's POV Blood was running down my left arm from 7 fresh cuts. I smiled as I looked down at my scarred wrist, man, it looked horrible. Scars up and down, left to right, some a pale reminder, and some a bleeding symbol. "Brother?" Al called from the other side of the door, "Are you almost ready? The train leaves in 20 minutes, I don't want to miss it…" "Okay." I sighed as I quickly wrapped up my wounds with toilet paper, put on my jacked and red coat, and opened the door. "I'm ready." I smiled to the only real person I could smile to. The one I was in love with, the one who lost his body because of me, my brother, Alphonse Elric, yes, I know, it's sick of me to think of my brother as so, but I would never tell him, or anyone else for that matter, because in light terms, I would die if he found out. So now that I'm off my last mission (which was a dead end, as usual) I promised Al that I'd take him to Risembool and stay for a while. It only took us about 10 minutes to walk down to the train station, so we had time to just sit before the train started to move. Al was staring out the window talking about how good it would be to see Whinrey and Granny again. "Maybe, we can even visit mom's grave?" He asked looking at me. "Yeah…" I said sounding unsure. "It's okay!" He said quickly, not wanting to upset me. "We don't have to." I laughed, which was unusual, I'm not usually the happy when he talks about going to go see mom's grave, but just the way he wanted to keep me happy was so cute of him. We talked about where we'd go after Risembool, Whinrey, Gran, and even thought about going back to the island for old times' sake, until it was about 11 p.m. "Brother, you really should get some sleep." Al said after I yawned, truth be told I really was tired, but I didn't want to sleep for several reasons, the nightmares, letting myself fall into a world that was fooling my mind, but most of all, I didn't want Al to "think about things he shouldn't" or be lonely, because, after all, it was MY fault that he couldn't sleep, couldn't feel, couldn't eat, couldn't do anything, it was all my fault. ALL of it. "Brother?" Al questioned, looking at me. I smiled. "No, I'm really not tired, besides, we'll be in Risembool soon." I said leaning my head against the window.

"What does that have to do with how tired you are?"

Damn. He got me, he wants to be depressed, doesn't he?

I sighed. Al wasn't stupid, but for a fourteen year old he sure was oblivious.

"Why don't you want to go to sleep? Is it the nightmares?" He added quietly.

"No, it's not that…"

"Then why?"

"Because Idonantutobonly…"

"?" He looked at me. I sighed.

"I don't want you to be lonely, okay?"

He laughed quietly, "Oh, brother…" I looked at him, man I hate myself for what ive done to him, if I had'nt forced him to transmute mom he'd still have his body, we'd still be in Risembool, all the girls would be chasing after him, and I wouldn't feel the need to put the razor to my skin every night. Speaking of which…

"Hey, I'ma gonna go to the bathroom." I said to Al.

"Oh…okay, but when you come back will you go to sleep?"

"Yeah, yeah." I said as I put a foot out the door.

"Promise?"

I sighed. "Maybe for 5 minutes." I told him. I practically ran to the restrooms, which were conveniently located a mile away from where me and Al were sitting.

When I finally got there it was just a bathroom with a sink and a toilet. (No stalls) So I went right in and locked the door behind me...

**WARNING: GRAPHIC SCENE…YEP…GRAPHIC!**

Finally, I was able to take off my red coat and leather jacket to leave me looking in the mirror with my black tank top, and my loose black pants.

I sunk down to a cross-legged position. I rolled up my pant leg to my knee, and saw my razor blade taped neatly to me. I calmly untapped it and brought it to the skin between my elbow and where I cut this morning.

At first, it was just three little chicken scratches but then I lost it, and let the razor dance with me, I watched it as my auto-mail hand led it all around my upper forearm. I looked into the pool of blood that was still growing, and I saw it, Truth was there smiling at me, calling my a coward for not finishing the job. It's not like I didn't want to die, but I think Alphonse loves me, not the way I love him, but still love, and I couldn't leave him, maybe when he gets his body back it'll be different, but not now.

I sighed as I transmuted the ground around my pool to let it soak up the blood. I wrapped toiled paper around my wounds and leaned against the door and slid down to where I was hugging my legs and resting my head on my knees. I blinked and someone started pounding the door and jiggling the handle.

"Brother? Are you in there brother?"

Al. Of course. Why was he here? I'd only been gone 5 minutes, 10 minutes at most. Luckily the bleeding had stopped, so I stood up, ignoring the pain and dizziness, I opened the door.


End file.
